Seclusion...

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

tired. shagged. drained. INFO OVERLOAD.

gosh! its only training and i'm so so very tired. so many things to learn. so many technical terms. cant imagine it if i have to go out to the field and start knocking on the doors. and i have to go tmr!!

and honestly, now, i cant think of what to blog. cuz all i think of is the things that i've juz learnt.

::ATTENTION::
if any of u readers out there interested to sign up for Singnet Broadband at a much cheaper rate pls feel free to get to me. this is not a joke ok? if u have dial up or other services and feel like upgrading lemme noe ya..

posted @ 8:44 PM
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

::MY DREAM::
- start a wedding planner business (ehem hopefully w my dearest friends)
- visit the Maldives
- have my wedding at the beach

learnt today that when u have a dream, dont just make it a dream but achieve it. many people dream of having big houses, big cars, big boobs. ha ha. but anyway most people dream to behold materialism. when the other two trainees who had to do this with me, they all dream of driving their dream car. i guess that aint important to me. what really makes me happy is plainly to indulge myself in the simple pleasures of life.

posted @ 9:14 PM
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Monday, June 28, 2004

ITS A GIRL! Flakes is a girl! er.. i think. doesnt look like it has balls. haha. woke up this morning by the sound of the turning wheel. sheesh. she ran so fastly! active when i'm sleeping and she's always sleeping everytime i wanna play with her. so lazy! and she still sleeps in her sandbox. she licked my finger juz now!! haha so cute! i still dont dare to pick her up. heh. i dont understand why she kept nibbling at the metal bars of her cage when i've already placed some wood for her to chew?? its not easy understanding animal behaviour.

i was 10 mins late for my first day of 'work'. in fact is juz training for the next 5 days. training was fun! it may be pretty technical but at least i dont have to learn econs! and we have test!! its tmr! to begin with, i kinda like the working environment. its not boring but its not easy tho.

well cant write alot. need to study!

my english is detereorating (is tt how u spell it? blah!) there's no coherence in my sentences. blah!

posted @ 11:00 PM
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Sunday, June 27, 2004

guess what?! i bought myself a fur-ball and its called Flakes. its a hamster!! haha. didnt actually buy it with my own money but my momma sponsored some. its not that i really like hamsters but they are so CUTE! maybe touching mandy's hamster urged me to get one myself. so cute so cute! thot of getting a boroski initially. they are so pretty! but naah.. too active. i'm scared it'll juz slip off my hands and run all over the house. who knows if it might get stepped on?? so got myself a white sapphire anyway.. but it bit my finger when i wanted to hold it! notty lil rat! i guess it juz needs some getting used to the new owner and its new home. oh and it's so lazy. always cooping itself up in his sandbox where he's supposed to shit. haha stupid hamster! still havnt checked out Flakes' gender. my dad n hasrul keep telling me to get another one so that lil thing wont b all alone and lonely.

gotta go for orientation tmr. i made it thru all the 3 rounds of interview!! gosh! what was i thinking?? this is so surreal. i wonder if i can really take up the job. anyway if i cant take it no more, i'll just quit. hah.

why are there so many mosquitoes? i'm itching all over! think its the diggin downstairs that's breeding mosquitoes in the stagnant water.

posted @ 10:44 PM
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Saturday, June 26, 2004

why is it that YOU think i blame u all the time? must YOU bring up those fucking issues? what more do YOU want? if its somthing beneficial why must YOU make me promise u not to do it? and when i reason out with YOU, i will be the one breaking my fucking promise then u accuse me of blaming u cuz u dont understand. why is it this way now?! i may have hurt u in some way or another but i wont apologise for something i did no wrong. so is it YOU or ME who keeps on pointing fingers?! who's the one with the big ego? its undeniable u r the one who sacrifices more but why cant u see what i have done for u?

fuck.

lets juz derail from the above issue.

so its saturday. went to the esplanade to watch anderson sec's play. cuz hasrul's cousin was acting in it. bored for the first half cuz they performed chinese opera in teochew. ??!??! dont understand a single word. honestly, that lil cousin of his is really good. she made me tear in the scene where she was about to die. so sad. well the performance is good. if not, why would they be performing at the esplanade then huh? watching performing arts is so enriching. it was so abstract.

posted @ 10:52 PM
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Friday, June 25, 2004

stuck. AGAIN.

it this the kind of job for me? is this what i really wanna do? well yea considering the good prospects it offers, this could be the only chance to prove myself i can go far without that much acclaimed degree. but do i really wanna do this? sigh.

i'd love to give it a shot. it is a very challenging job where high academic qualifications isnt a main prerequisite. everybody starts off at par regardless the amount of education u have gone thru. all have to start from scratch. but what interests me most is the company's very unique philosophy of learning and getting promoted. and obviously this is NOT tt high-profile-all-glam job. i have never come across of such career in my life. ever. it all depends on how hard ur willing to work and how motivated u r.

well i didnt expect to make it to the 3rd round of interview. i thot i was crapping nonsense thruout the second interview. maybe cuz it was an informal interview and it was at a mcdonanlds's outlet and so i didnt feel tt intimidated. cuz i was evaluated by the questions tt i have. sigh. even the person says my questions are very technical. was it just luck? or was it really me being myself? blah!

hate it. this always happens. everytime i get so close to something. dilemma. damn!

posted @ 9:18 PM
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Thursday, June 24, 2004

Oh. My. God.

i cant believe tis and i'm still shaking. i cant believe it i made it thru the first round of interview!! tis is so unexpected. and i'm so unprepared. was supposed to prepare a whole list of questions for tmr. ok ok better do it tonite. i'm so nervous!! hope i wont screw up tmr itinary. think there's some kinda attachment thingy. sigh. wish me luck!

ok gtg for tuition.

posted @ 5:06 PM
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nice weather. i think the haze shadowed most of the scorching sun rays.

posted @ 2:34 PM
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

oh oh.. btw.. i bought tis m&m's in black and white!!

so classic! wanna buy more of tt.. heh

posted @ 10:56 PM
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i hav never wondered how boring my bf could turn out to be. such a lazy bum! n so not excited abt his burfday. at all.

all we did was watch the chronicles of riddick at yishun. well actually the show was good. tho i dont really understand d story line. hur.. aft dinner we planned to go bowling at safra yishun. but i wasnt feeling too well to bowl. so he brought me to tis place in yishun on his bike.

its actaully a bridge over a resevoir. honestly its very nice to be seated there at night.. the cool night breeze, strong lights fm the nearby country club. nice sight. very therapeutic. except for the company of a few lizards, and some flying bats. yup we sat there and talked.

boring huh?

actually there r alot of nice places in spore juz tt we never discover where they r located.

posted @ 10:41 PM
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U......................

hey baby, ur 22!! well tis yr's burfday isnt as interesting as last year's. hope u dont mind dear cuz i'm so stripped out of cash.

to vert and man
geez u guys r juz wonderful. :) thnx for d words of encouragemet. means alot to me.. i love u guys!! *hugs*

today's quite a depressing day but i aint gonna dwell upon it. there r many other opportunities available. so went back to AC to collect my cert.

hee sorry frens if i didnt let u noe i'm goin cuz i really really need it for d job interview. because i absent-mindedly, pathetic-ly misplaced my result slip!! and i still cant find it.. blah!

so lets not talk abt how d interview went.

i'm almost sick. had a bad headache the moment i came home. blocked nose. cant smell anyhting. sore throat. very sore. cant stop sneezing. hope it doesnt get too bad. popped 2 panadols and slept in d aftie. felt like puking aft an hr bus ride to boon lay. maybe i am sick already. hate being sick!

posted @ 11:43 PM
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screwd. screwd. so screwd. sigh.

going for job interviews are so depressing. esp when the other candidates are uni grads and with considerable amount of working experience. i cant even speak properly to the interviewer. tis doesnt look gd at all. so demoralising. i guess i wont be expecting any calls from this company. sigh. time to look for other jobs.

hate group interviews. it makes the cmpetition for the position more intense. or at least for individual interviews, u dont have to worry about how gd other ppl r doin. it makes me feel so inferior. damn!

posted @ 2:38 PM
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Monday, June 21, 2004

sumtin's wrong w d net or my IE5.. i was blogging last nyt and by tt lil click of d mouse, it all disappeared! blah! didnt bother to write all over again.. hope it wont go wrong tis tym.

so life is getting a lil brighter. tt's wat i see for NOW. juz sent in my resume tis morn and by lunch hour, i already got a call to go for an interview tmr! yipee!! but then again, it doesnt end there. its so hard to find a job nowadays.. yea there may b lots of ads in the papers recently and according to reliable sources, there is an increase in job supply. but its a very competitive world now. juz look at uni. so hope i'll ace d interview tmr and get tt job! wish me luck!! :)

oh n guess wat position i applied for?? hahah.. tis may sound ridiculous!! sales & marketing executive. blah! well d min requirements are at least a dip/A levels.. hope they wont try n cheat my feelings.

1 more day baby n ur 22!!!! look at tt number.. its 22!! hahah!! ;p

posted @ 9:52 PM
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u noe how sumtimes its so weird to hear things related to ur problems from ppl or sources which has no connection to ur life. juz as i was woken up tis morn by my momma's shrill 'alarm' to go to the mosque for religous class.

its so annoying to have someone nag at u first thing in the morn!

anyway, so i did dragged myself out of bed. took a long shower (or rather stoning for a some tym on the toilet bowl) which made my momma knock on the toilet door and said
"HURRY UP!!!!!"

however, every time i step my foot into the mosque and listen to the sermon, it always had something to d w my life. of cuz i am guilty or certain things. not to mention the obvious. the point is each visit to the mosque will bring me some kind of tranquility. some kinda light to settle the probs tt i face. w regards to wat happened last nite, i learnt my mistake. maybe its gd for YOU to listen to these sermons juz to open up YOUR hearts and be more enlightened. maybe YOUR un-opnened heart caused u to react tt way. still, i am partly to be blamed as well.

well.. its not tt i chose to b a bad muslim. but tt devil inside me has been urging me to go against the good. each time aft i pray, my heart will be so at ease. its so calm. well i feel ashamed to admit this. i havnt been praying for some time and i'm losin it already. its time to reflect abt tis.. to be a better person inside and out.

guilty...

posted @ 12:05 AM
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Saturday, June 19, 2004

sigh.

juz got back. went for the TMC's open hse and amazingly it was rather fruitful. but i'm back to being so torn. poly or adv dip? poly will take me 3 years but the quality of learning is much much better esp w hands-on and much needed facilities available. adv dip at TMC is a one year crash course w no hands-on. well i guess i can afford adv dip but blurgh! the main prob here is if i shld go to monash (at TMC) or RMIT (at SIM). monash - GO8 in aus. RMIT - not. tho monash can be a lil bit more pricey compared to RMIT, its more recognised. how how how? wokays.. i'm goin to poly next year for sure. and i'll decide fm there whether i shld go to monash or RMIT. so gotta apply for a job now to save up for the degree course.

so after visiting TMC, me n my baby went for dinner headed for the esplanade. it was so crowded but hell! i had yummy choc dipped strawberries. Mmmmm... heaven! sat by the river and the breeze was juz perfect.

maybe this is what adult life is all abt. planning ur life and damn its not simple. u need to resource out to get info. cant juz dive in and take d risk. i realise how hard it is to survive on my own w/o financial aid fm my parents. had been depending on them for the past 19 years and now i hav to earn my own money to get to where i wanna be. it aint easy. and i realise tt adults have alot of things on their mind. juz imagine it. it'll be worse when i hav my own family. have to think abt myself, spouse, kids esp! its so expensive to bring them up! but i guess i hav to take one step at a tym. be patient and prepare myself for the outcomes. oh well i think tis is where maturity steps in.

sigh.

posted @ 9:48 PM
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so here i am with nothing-to-do as my daily routine. even on saturdays! how sad is tt? i'm sitting here in front on the comp for the past hour or so. great! juz got a call fm my dearest baby. we're supposed to go to TMC open hse today to check out the courses but he changed his mind. i guess we'll be roaming the streets later on.. btw, the heat is killing me. i'm sweating profusely at HOME (INDOORS) with minimal clothing. when is spring coming?? cant wait for cooler weather. but then again, how cool can singapore be? except for the downpours which doesnt really make a big diff. so its either extremely hot or extremely wet. both ways wont make it any better to juz go out and have a leisurely good time.

was reading one of my ex-schmate's shared blog w his girlfren.. awww.. they r so so sweet!! the boredom tt i face now made me wander into publicly annouced blogs.

oh wells.. better go now n take a looooooong cold shower before goin out.

posted @ 2:48 PM
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Friday, June 18, 2004

baby,

i love u so so very much. tho at times it juz hurts me so. the way u refuse to talk abt things, the way u jump to conclusions, the way u wanna run away fm issues. do all men scream at the top of their lungs whenever they r mad? or is it the situation and place ur in tt made u do so? i may be stubborn at tyms.. but when u think abt it, isnt it for our own gd dear? i hate it when u scream. hate it when u dont give me a chance to explain. hate it when u get mad at every lil decision i make and every qns i ask. i noe u gave in alot to me but its all for a gd cause. i love u baby. arent promises meant to be broken? i guess not. not to u tho. i realised how very impt u r to me. i love u!!

shit! juz get over n done w NS. its killing the both of us! thank god its juz another 2 more mths!

so baby, we've been thru the toughest part of our lives - national service. and i'm glad we made it thru. both of us had to endure 2 years of squabbling over trivial matters and missing each other so much. more imptly, i dun hv to worry no more abt ur safety. w all tt missions, training and d real-life opearation at tekong juz to get those 3 bastards.. 2 more mths and we're back to normal life. i appreciate what u hv done for me baby. even tho u r so paranoid while in camp, u still trusted me and believed in me. u supported me even tho u cant b by my side esp thruout my last year in jc. made those lil excuses juz to get out of camp n see me aft we argued. u mean so much to me baby.. i didnt realise til today tt all the lil things u made actaully made me love u so much more. thank u baby.. ur definitely MY MAN. *muakz*

lovin u 24/7....

posted @ 10:29 PM
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Thursday, June 17, 2004

BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG!!!!!!!!!!

they r still buggin me to be somebody i dont want to!!!! urgh! cant they juz understand what i wanna do?!?!?!?!

posted @ 8:54 PM
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yay!! its gonna be my last tuition session today at jurong west cuz I QUIT! gosh! cant stand the girl.. she doesnt seem interested to have tuition at all. i think its d holiday mood but she cant just tell me at the last minute (and i really mean at the last minute) tt i dont have to come for tuition. i was already at her block when my phone rang and a voice said

"Erm.. i think u dont have to come today. i dont want tuition."

hurmph! what kinda attitude is tt? i travelled all the way there and i have to go home!! sheesh.. so i'm gonna get my money's worth today and i'm gone.. muahaha.. good luck to her next tutor. ohh and there was also this day tt she fell asleep while trying to do some math qns!! any of u can tolerate tt?? definitely not me..

thinkin abt what i had yesterday at man's hse was really scary.. we ate non-stop and didnt have any real food at all.. but the mushroom n herbs pasta was gd tho. but i like mac n cheese better. hehe.. jelly was of cuz YUMMY!! scones wasnt bad.. hope nobody got diarrhoea. (is tt how u spell it? blah! my eng is deteriorating..) had chips, egg sandwich. hmm.. wat else huh? but tt was really alot!! of junk food!! i tried to play w man's hamster but i was kinda scared of him.. haha! but he was soooo cute n fat. well according to man he isnt tt fat as he used to be. but he still so cute!! held him in my hands for like 2 seconds.. haha d feeling was nice but eek!! could feel his little paws and he was licking my hands!! eek!! hmm.. i think being bitten by a cat stirred a lil phobia in me of animals..

and celeste was being blur as usual.. didnt noe tt we were meeting up yest despite havin msgd her.. haha she's so funny!!

ok gotta go for my last tuition lesson now..

posted @ 2:25 PM
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Monday, June 14, 2004

wokays..i've sorted out my life for now. had a gd talk w my momma and surprisingly she's rather supportive now. so now i juz have to break the news to my baby. hope he'll b ok w it... *cross fingers* so for now i'm gonna work till next year for poly admission. i guess backtracking isnt tt bad an option. since i cant afford for a pte sch now might as well enrol to a poly n my parents can pay for the fees usin their CPF. and all i hv to do now is save up as much as i can to go for d bachelor course at SIM. hmm.. tt will take me 4 yrs.. so i'll be 23 by then. yup wont be too old to get married. hehe..

today's such a nice happy day.. went for tuition at 5 in the evening and ended at 7. so went to jurong pt w my parents cuz i need some essentials urgently. so there we were in watson's, my favourite personal store.. ohh there's this brand of pads a.k.a sanitary napkins tt's so cool!! its scented w i dunno wat to keep off tt odour!! and its v comfy.. u dun feel like wearing anythin. and it doesnt make u itch! (hmm.. am i doin sum kinda free promotion for Modess??) so then we went to body shop to get sumtin tt can scrub ur back while bathing. and the best part was my friend is working there. hvnt seen her for so long.. so we got this bath serviette (haha dun ask me why its called a serviette.. i think its hilarious!!) at 2 for $9.90. thnx to the GSS its cheap! and my friend even gave me tis 30% of voucher!! wow!! she's soo nice!! ohh n tt serviette thing works!! it makes ur back squeaky clean..

i dont think its the shopping tt made me happy.. prolly cuz i finally figured out what to do w my life.. yay!

HAPPY! SHA LA LA...

I LOVE MY BABY!!

posted @ 10:45 PM
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dun ask me why i chose tis skin... i juz love it.

posted @ 1:17 AM
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Sunday, June 13, 2004

hmmm.. i'm sure i didnt post d 3:55pm entry... wonder who did tt?? well whoever tt is, u sure noe what i'm thinking. wow cool huh.. u got some telephatic thing going on.. thnx for saying wateva i wanted to say and breaking into my account.. awww.. u guys r still d best!

when i read thru the sunday papers abt uni admission.. my heart almost sank again. into despair and disappointment. but on second thots, it wasnt almost despair and disappontment. it was a lil of anger and hatred. i'm not sure whether towards tt whole uni thing or at myself for producing such grades. and reading wat my frens hv to say or feel makes me think further. i've always thot i'm a v superficial person. i take things lightly and for granted at times. well its was proven already tt i aint tt mature. maybe the qoute 'let nature takes its own course' isnt always good. i get over stuff easily and not get overly bothered by anything. so tell me now is tt gd or bad?? do i easily give up? tt's wat somebody said to me... maybe he's right. one day i have to do someting tt i dont have interest in. specifically for survival and doing it conscientiously. is tt the only way out of tis mess?? the mess tt i've created for myself? why cant i do sumtin for myself? at least for once! for me to really pursue my interest. or maybe its not meant to be? everytime i start on sumtin i love doin, there will be an obstacle, a hindrance. it happens all the time. and everyime tis happens, i lose interest. why? is tis wat God had planned for me?

should i just adhere to my folks' decision or should i make my own? when they forced me to do something i always tell myself i'll prove otherwise to them. when i decide for myself, it always backfire. so wat is right for me now?!

SHIT!! i am juz gonna wait for tt last letter. if in any case it doesnt land in my hands, i am going to make my own decision. i'm gonna make my life!

posted @ 11:34 PM
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Saturday, June 12, 2004

i love my friends!!! :)
grace, mandy, qifang and yvette came over yesterday and they brought JOY to the house! :) they're so sweeet!!!! i wish i was back in school again so that i can see them day after day after day. how i miss those days when we'd sit in the void deck during free periods and play cards and eat food!!! i will marry my friends some day. :)

grace is so sweet, her eyes are so mesmerising i'm rethinking my options. maybe i should leave my baby for her.
mandy's my mamamia, my love, my yellowbunny, my smooch smooch. i love her too.
qifang is my everything, the only thing that makes me chummywummy inside.
joy's my joy. i love her! she's so smart, so lovely and her jokes are not lame, sarcastic and pathetic. i was wrong.

i love my dearie glutts so much.

baby baby, i love you too.. don't get jealous, i just need time to reconsider if we're meant for each other in the end.
i have a crush on them!

posted @ 3:55 PM
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Wohoo!! it was my burfday yest and i am 19 already!! OMG!! i feel old... Had a simple yet a wonderful burfday. my frens were so sweet.. aww.. i am so touched! thnx alot dear frens for spending the day w me.. u guys r great! we had our usual glutin session w what joy termed it as not-real-food of macaroni and cheese, campbel's soup, hotdogs, ice cream and cake.. it was still yummy!! and as usual almost everyone was half-asleep aft lunch. ohhh n bridging was fun!! havnt bridged for soo long.. well erm yarr, i was still the blur #1, totally had no idea wat the hell i was doing and confusing my dear frens.. haha sorry guys. but i still won anyways!! hehe.. ohhhh i LURVE the candy mandy bought fm aus.. yummy!! the best part is when grace came.. we can actually talk non-stop when she's around.. go grace!! it was really nice u spent time w u guys again.. erm.. after some unsuccessful weekly glut outings. but then again nene and celeste is still MIA-ing.. oh yarr!! hope everyone can make it to the bbq at mandy's hse next wed.. yay!!

so glutting was over by the evening and went out for dinner w my baby.. well he told me tt he wanted to get me flowers but the flower shops were all closed when he wanted to get them yest. hmmmm.... is tt juz an excuse?? guys! they think flowers are a waste of money cuz its so unpractical. actually it is waste of money but once in a while wont hurt right?? so we had dinner at this turkish cafe at shaw towers? centre? house? i dunno. but its at beach road. the place was sooooo nice. juz the rigt ambience for dinner. and the food's cheap too!! but it wasnt tt nice tho.. turkish food is a lil bland.. after trying at a few turkish cafes they all taste the same. but turkish tea is really nice!!

so after dinner we headed to the airport to send off my baby's cousin to aus for some kinda school trip. right aft tt it was already 1030pm so we headed home...

here's my tribute to my dearest glut frens!! thank u so much frens!! ur all the best!!

posted @ 11:28 AM
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Sunday, June 06, 2004

hmmm... i can still feel the swaying of the boat/yatch (wateva!) i was on earlier today. so relaxing....... it juz wanna make u sleep. with the sea breeze blowing at my face while i sat on those cushioned seats and leaned back on the boat's poles.. and the sun felt good today!! yup got a lil darker n thankfully i wasnt burnt. we did some fishing and i caught some lil fishes.. and there's tis small boy (my dad's friend's son) who had actually caught a sting ray. mind u its pretty big! had bbq-ed food on board.. wow! tt's was a truly amazing and once in a lifetime experience..

while the boat was being steered along the north-western coast of Singapore, it all remimded me of geog. the scenery of coasts and cliffs and bluffs.. the waves, the currents... it is so very beautiful.. to see all those green-painted coasts. its so fun even tho its kinda laid-back.. i love it!

its so nice if u can have tt lifestyle here w/o the high cost. i think we need tt kind of short getaways fm hectic town life. get away fm all the stress.. wow...

posted @ 10:13 PM
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bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored BORED!!

so tmr's not supposed to be bored cuz its my MOM's BURFDAY!!! HAPPY BURFDAY MOMMA!!! err but i cant afford to get any prezzie for her tho.. haha so god damn broke! well its the thot tt counts rite...? ;p we're supposed to go on my father's friend's private yatch tmr.. how 'exciting' can tt be? with my dad's friends and their wives.. on board a ship and fishing.. ZZZZzzzZZZZZZZZzzz.... ok i'd better prepare myself with a mag and a book. at least i wont be looking out into the sky, ocean, clouds, wateva, all the time. hmmm but tt sounds so nice huh?

i feel like i've got no life now.. this is my daily routine.

1000-1100 wake up
1100-1400 brunch
1400-1600 watch tv
1600-1700 get ready to lve hse
1800-2130 tuition

weekends?? hah even worse! with no money in my pockets and in my bank acc.. cant even afford a movie with my bf cuz he's broke too! and the worst thing is.. i cant anticipate THE GREAT SINGAORE SALE!! my fingers are itching everytime i go window shopping esp at ZARA. need a job, need tt income! well tuition pay is like taking forever. thank god the GSS have been extended for the first time tis yr.. at least i can enjoy a lil bit of tt..

feel like i am PMS-ing... maybe i am.. ??

posted @ 12:12 AM
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Friday, June 04, 2004

i sick of waiting!! for just another letter. i've planned the course of my life for now and i'm just waiting for tt stoopid letter and then i can decide either to take plan A or plan B. yea a stoopid letter indeed.. but it will eventually land me a diploma at least and good amt of income (even when i'm studying). haha.. life aint easy as it seems once u stepped out of tt student life. being a student is so.... what can i say? great! u got so many incentives like student rates for FOOD, tpt etc etc.. its so much cheaper compared to the adult fares tt i hv to pay now. and u dont hav to sweat it out to earn tt money. erm except for the exams part. such a drag!! speaking of exams... EXAMS ARE IMPORTANT! it could hv promised me a better future if i took it more seriously.

isnt it weird when a couple argued like hell over the phone and when they meet up, the anger instantly disappears and they both smiled at each other?? weird huh?? its good tho cuz at least the heat wont last. actually it happens to me all the time. why huh? i mean i didnt plan to smile at him but at the first second i see his face, it all disappears.. amazing..

i havnt seen my frens for so long already.. esp mandy!! havnt seen her since the day she got back fm aus.. (mandy: is tt right?) haha i'm still blur as ever.. miss laughing at joy's lame, pathetic yet sacarstic jokes. miss mandy's utter craziness and her smart logic. miss grace's and vert's non-stop blabbering. and where the hell is nene and celeste?? and qifang.. miss havin tt fun all-gurls-glut-outs..... where r u guys?

posted @ 9:27 PM
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

it was so cool tonite.. felt the cool breeze lifting my hair up as i walked. tt felt so good.. felt so so much better now, well the cool weather could prolly b one of the reasons tt made me feel better. i'm not gonna regret the outcomes tt i faced earlier tis wk cuz i damn asked for it. all along i knew i wont make it. and i didnt stop and change the direction of my life. and here i am now facing the BIG turn of my life which wasnt initially planned and now i have to choose which road to go to.. which road will give me the nicest view as well as the most comfortable ride of my life. its so hard to decide now. i wanna do sumtin for myself, my own interests and not for others. what they like is not what i like. and this time round i'm gonna have it my way!

posted @ 11:09 PM
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